#8 Training vs Guiding our Children♥

♥ Inspiration: Read this meme and if it resonates with you,  I invite you to read on…

Loving Guidance.jpg

 

♥ Insight: Something for you to ponder…

I must admit, I have a tremendous aversion to the word ‘training’. I think it’s because for me, it loses its context when referring to children. Training makes parenting sound like a method to apply to our children rather than a way of being with our children. It doesn’t sit well with me that we would want to train our children when we could instead rely on what we naturally have with them, a growing relationship which empowers us to guide and teach them.

With so many step by step training techniques out there, we’ve been led to believe that it’s just a matter of time and perseverance before we find the perfect solution for a ‘problem’ we’re trying to solve. We become fixated on applying the method-of-the-week rather than focussing on who it is being applied to and what they really need from us. When what we try doesn’t work or runs out of effectiveness, we move on in search of a new technique. We get blinded by our well-meaning quest and stop seeing what is really needed by our children. They need a deep connection with us! 

What many of us really need is a reminder that we are our children’s best bet. We don’t always feel this way, least of all when we believe that we are floundering and that nothing we do seems to work on our child. We need to know that it is not through a lack of trying or lack of love that we get to this place, it is self doubt and numerous failed attempts at training our children that have led us here.

Let’s remember, or if that’s too much of a stretch, let’s at least consider this…

We have what we need to guide and teach our children, we have a relationship with them and we are the ones who love them most of all. It’s up to us put our trust in that and find resources that support us to grow our relationship with them rather than work against it. Techniques have a limited  lifespan,  a deep relationship lasts a life time.

♥ Intention: If you feel moved to set an intention for today, this could be it…

Today I will be more mindful of the practices I use when I’m wanting to teach my children new things or refine their behaviour. I will keep my focus on guiding rather than training as they are more open to learning from me (and absorbing my values and expectations) when I connect with them before instructing them. 

© http://www.look-with-love.com, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bridgett Miller with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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